I have completed my top 10 best games, now I’m going to have a look at some of the games that are in the top spots on Boardgamegeek that I actually don’t like. In fact, most of the games on this list I simply avoid playing whenever possible or play games that use similar mechanics to better effect (games that have been replaced by better games). I kept it to 5 though I could have easily done a top 20, but the games on this list are either just terrible games, boring games or should have been far more than they are.

1. Agricola
When Agricola hit board game geek and rose through the ranks like a cannon I was rather confused, I hadn’t played it, but how does a game about one of the dullest subjects on gods green earth become one of the most popular board games on board game geek? Naturally my curiosity peeked when it hit the number 2 spot, I had to find out and so of course, I did. Several times to be certain of my forming opinion, which now I’m 100% certain on. Hands down, one of the dumbest and most boring games I have ever played, in fact, of all the games on this list, this is the one I can’t name even a single redeeming quality it has. It’s mechanics are dry, virtually nothing creative or profound about the game, it completely lacks player interaction, it’s rules are confusing and unnecessarily over complicated and it boasts some pretty ugly art work with text so small on the cards even with perfect 20/20 vision you have to strain to read overly elaborate language used to define what cards can do.

 

It’s just bad all around and to add the poop cherry on top its stupidly expensive begging the question where the developer/publisher sunk the money? It’s popularity baffles me unlike any other game, though it’s hype was thankfully short lived at least in my circles. There was a burst of “let’s play Agricola” which I suffered through but after a few plays with any group it simply died. I haven’t seen it played in over a year anywhere and wasn’t ever able to find a victim to pawn it off onto. In the end I gave it away with a reluctant recipient who I convinced by using the classic phrase “Just take it, it’s free!”. Avoid the temptation, it’s as stupid as it sounds.

2. Terra Mystica
Another pointless Euro cube pusher following in the footstep of the themeless Euro drones that basically boil down to solving unnecessarily complicated math problems is Terra Mystica. It’s a game of cube management pure and simple and if that sounds boring, it’s worth mentioning that’s it’s not even a particularly good cube pusher. Games like Russian Railroads which follow in the same style of theme-lessnes and mathematics is as least creative and carry’s pretty decent strategic depth.

Terra Mystica is just painful to play, I don’t understand why these games are made and how in the world they become so popular, but it makes me think that people are just completely ignorant to some of the amazing games out there they could be playing instead. I will grant Terra Mystica that it’s premise is at least more interesting than Agricola, but given that there is virtually no connection between premise and actual mechanics, it’s only a slight nudge below Agricola in the “why the hell would anyone play this crap” category. So bad, so not worth your time or money.

3. Puerto Rico
Puerto Rico has some redeeming qualities as an interesting example of role selection mechanics and it does boast some relatively strategic play that can hold your attention but its popularity is confusing. It’s rather stale, has a boring theme and has some severely broken balance issue that once discovered creates a game split between the players that do know and those that don’t know how to break it.

It’s a puzzle with a solution and I hate that type of thing in games. Puerto Rico is a good example of games that have aged really badly, back in the day it was an ok game and we played it, but for today’s standard it’s not even remotely acceptable as a designer game. It’s time has come and gone, there are far better and more balanced Euro’s on the market today.

4. Eclipse
When it was first released it’s most common comparison was to Twilight Imperium 3rd edition, in fact it was often referred to as TI3 junior. A small, more compact version of Twilight Imperium that could be played in half the time. As a huge TI3 fan, this was exciting news and the designers comments regarding his inspiration (Master of Orion) further fueled the hype as the next big science fiction opera. The first time I played it I thought to myself, ok, it’s not a terrible game, but it is in no way, shape or form anything even in the ball park of TI3, in fact to say so was insulting. This game has more in common with games on this list (Agricola and Terra Mystica) than it has to do with TI3.

After 2 or 3 games of Eclipse you start to see a pattern emerge as well, as is the case with so many Euro’s. It’s frankly a boring game with a nice theme and in a sense it was the theme that intrigued me to play the game several times before I realized that I just wasn’t having any fun.

Eclipse lacks everything that makes space opera games fun. There is no economics to speak off, there is very little interaction between players, diplomacy in particular is pointless since player actions are so predictable and like most Euro games that are cube happy it’s basically a mathematical puzzle and not a particularly hard one to solve. It’s one of those games where in any given situation there are many choices available to you, but one very clear, very obvious one that is far superior. It’s almost like you’re on rails, taking actions that you very clearly must take. I don’t think it’s a terrible game, in fact, I actually don’t mind playing it unlike many games on this list but it’s far too long even though it plays half the time of TI3 for what you get out of it. Today it’s even less attractive given that there are new games in this genre that have been added that are far better than this one.

5. Sid Meier’s Civilization
It pains me to bash this game both because it’s published by my favorite board game maker Fantasy Flight Games and its designer Kevin Wilson who has made some wonderful games both big and small including Android, Arkham Horror and even one of my favorite silver line mini games Arena Maximus. When I first heard that FFG was making a board game version of Civilization I was giddy with excitement, in particular given that the other attempt by Eagle Games (Civilization the board game) wasn’t particularly good either. Sid Meier’s Civilization is full of great ideas but just poorly executed. It just doesn’t feel right, in particular combat which is so dull, made during the weird period when FFG was really into card based combat mechanics, a concept that ruined Rune Wars and Starcraft.

It’s a long game and while it has that fantastic FFG component quality, art and solid theme it just isn’t that much fun to play. The first couple of games we played I thought it was ok, but the combat mechanic in particular really ruined it for me. It looks great, but is not worth your time, I think Kevin Wilson missed a great opportunity on this one.